Maybe you found this site after someone told you they had a crush on you. Maybe you thought of the same holiday and we beat you to registering this username. Perhaps you’ve been a fan all along and have always wanted more propaganda to peruse while at work. This year, the International Society for the Appreciation of Crushes (ISAC) is putting together a small electronic guide to the holiday, including survival tips, FAQ and eventually even stories of the successes and, er, un-successes of the day.
So without further ado, here are a few frequently asked questions:
What? What’s the point of all of this?
Crushes! ITCYD was hatched out of a simple and honest desire to see more people be open and honest about the world around them. Specifically, the people part of that world. Everyone, even curmudgeons who will claim otherwise, get crushes on people. And, yes, everyone gets crushed on at different times. Wouldn’t it be rad to be able to tell people you had sparklies for that you had sparklies for them? Wouldn’t it be super-amazing if people would do the same for you?
….for those of you keeping score at home, the correct answer is “YES!”
How am I supposed to tell my crush?
The International Society for the Appreciation of Crushes recommends, whenever possible, to tell your crush in person. Face-to-face time takes a lot of the guess work out of ambiguous text messages, facebook messages or hard-to-read flying marquees. That said, sometimes your crush just isn’t in your part of the world. Maybe they’re in Denver and you’re in Detroit. Maybe you just moved to Oaxaca and your crush is back home in Omaha. Perhaps you just finished your schooling in Wales, but your crush is swimming with Whales off the coast of Hawai’i. In this case – anything goes! You know best how you like to communicate and how you like to be communicated with, so we leave it in your hands!
No, I mean HOW am I supposed to tell my crush?
Oh. Starting with “Hey, have you heard about International Tell Your Crush Day?” is a time-honored suggestion. That way, you can explain the holiday and the significance or lack of significance of what you’re about to reveal. Then, you can walk away, content with the knowledge that you’ve won a crush medal of valor for your day’s work. Remember that the mantra for ITYCD is “take a deep breath.” Find your crush, take a deep breath and say “howdy;” write the message, take a deep breath and click send; or pick up the phone, take a deep breath and dial the numbers.
This is terrifying!
Isn’t it? It’s amazing how being honest about things can be scary! Take a deep breath and be confident in knowing that you’re sharing your crushes along with crush devotees around the world. Once you’ve spilled the beans, you’ll feel better about yourself, about your ability to reach out there, and you’ll have done something Very Important.
Saying “I have a Crush on you” is the same as “I’d like to date you,” right?
NO! Well, sometimes. But for the purposes of ITYCD, a crush is simply a spontaneous (or premeditated, we’re not picky) acknowledgement of the beauty all around us. The point is in the journey, not the destination. Maybe you’ve got a crush on someone you’ll never see again, or maybe your crush will develop into a life-long relationship. Even with the latest in crush science, it’s still very difficult to predict how these things will develop. The best thing you can do to prepare yourself is to jump into ITYCD with an open mind, and expect nothing more than to have made your crush’s day.
Why would I do this in the first place?
One: Everyone else is doing it. ITYCD is a grassroots-kinda holiday. It would not exist without crushers just like you spreading the crush word. Extinction is a bummer, so don’t let it happen!
Two: To get a letter, write a letter. Seriously – it’s an unproven fact that people who crush more in turn get crushed on more. It’s complicated and involves imaginary numbers, but the science is out there.
Three: Because you never know what will happen next. In the past, ITYCD enthusiasts have been rewarded with everything from long-term romantic relationships, to new and lasting friendships, to surprise punches in the nose. Everyone likes surprises, right? It’s like a jack in the box, but each time the Jack is something different.
I don’t really have any crushes.
Really? Sometimes it’s hard to spot them, if you haven’t been thinking about them for a while. Don’t force a crush just to be able to tell someone you have a crush on them, but we bet if you think about it a bit more, you’ll remember that cute barista who works downtown, or that bike mechanic who fixed up your ride for you.
I’ve got a million crushes – what do I do?
You’re a very advanced crusher if you’ve got crushes on multiple people. Since crushes don’t have to be promises of commitment, you can tell as many people as you like about your sparklies. Remember that people who crush more get crushed on more.
The ITYCD record is as-yet not established, but drop us a line at firstname.lastname@example.org and let us know how many crushes you tell on ITYCD and we’ll give it some thought!
But I’m in a long-term, committed relationship. Crushes aren’t allowed for people like me.
Bollocks. By all means, be sensitive to the needs of your existing relationship, but nearly everyone feels sparklies for someone else from time to time. It’s okay. It doesn’t have to mean that the end is nigh, or that your partner isn’t the person you once thought they were. It means you’re a passionate, creative human being. Set your sparklies free! Wouldn’t you rather share the wealth and help make the world a weensy bit more beautiful, than bottle your crushes up and stifle them into submission?
And heck, maybe you’ve still got a crush on the person you’ve been dating/married/betrothed to for years. It’s been known to happen.
Are there people I shouldn’t tell?
Unfortunately, probably. The basic rule is: be reasonable! Don’t tell someone you’ve got a crush on them if it means risking your job/marriage/Packers tickets/membership in the Rick Astley fan club… unless of course that’s what you want to do. ISAC recommends caution when telling, among others, your boss, your employees, your professors, your students, or anyone who you’ve got some level of administrative power over or subordination to. But since you’re a capable adult, you get to make the call.
ITYCD Survival Tips. Or, what to do when things don’t go quite like you’d hoped.
So I’ve told my crush, now what?
Well, what do you want to happen? For some people, the thrill is in making the crush public. For others, you’ll realize that the crush you thought you had doesn’t seem to be there after the mystery is gone. For others still, you’ve just embarked on a life-long journey with this new person. The possibilities are as numerous as there are combinations of people.
What happens next is up to you and your crush. Maybe nothing happens. Maybe you say, “have a great day,” and disappear into the city. Maybe you go get some falafel together. Making up the next chapter is the best and most exciting part of the aftercrush.
What to do if your crush isn’t reciprocated?
Non-reciprocated crushes are a bummer, but don’t fret! Take another deep breath in and remember why you’re awesome. You remember that, right? Sometimes others can’t see that, or are so focused on another crush that they’ve got some serious tunnel vision happening. It’s okay. You’re in this for the journey, remember?
What to do if someone you’re not crushing on tells you they’ve got a crush on you?
Awkward? Yeah, right! Someone just told you that they think you’re the bees knees! Congratulations! You’re very special, indeed, and isn’t it great that someone’s recognizing it? Maybe they’re not your cup of tea, or maybe you’ve just never thought about until that moment, but in any case, think about how you’d like an unrequited crush to respond to you and do that! Be humble, be grateful, and the next time you’re down in the dumps, remember that someone’s crushin’ on you.
What if no one told me they have a crush on me?
The International Society for the Advancement of the Crush Agenda has determined that this happens with tragic frequency. Don’t panic! Remember to take a deep breath and count your awesomes, because there are LOTS of them. The society has determined the leading causes of crush absences as the following:
- You’re too cutting edge. You’re so amazing that no one even understands it, yet. Like Pablo Picasso.
- You’re being elusive. Too often it is the case that would-be crushers can’t find the person they’ve got the sparklies for. Don’t hide! It’s a beautiful day, and you’d rather be out in it, wouldn’t you?
The fine print:
Your crush mileage may vary. Most of the time, the results of revealing a crush are positive or at least neutral. Sometimes bad things can happen, or things you weren’t expecting or hoping for. The nature of crushes a bit chaotic. This is powerful stuff we’re dealing with. If it doesn’t work out, or it works out poorly, remember that you’ve learned more about yourself through the process and that you got good practice in being vocal about what you want in this world.
Have a question? A suggestion? Let us know and leave a comment!