Tag Archives: crushes

Where have you been?!

It was kind of like this. Thank you to Dulce et Decorum for their how-to on blanket forts.

It was kind of like this. Thank you to Dulce et Decorum for this picture and their blanket forts tutorial.

You may have noticed that the International Tell Your Crush Day blog has been updated this month for the first time in almost 5 years. “That’s too long!” you say. “We’re glad you’re back!” you say. Well, we’re glad to be back too.

We know that ITYCD is something you’ve come to know, love, and live for. We at Crush Headquarters and the International Society for the Appreciation of Crushes have been remiss in our pastoral care duties. We have not been shepherding our flock, and for that, we owe you our deepest apologies. And also, if you just listen to what happened, we think you might understand.

Here’s how it went down. May, 2009. The first year that we had a physical space for Crush Headquarters. High level crushers from all seven continents were gathered together, working on what would be the biggest ITYCD of all time.

There were posters behind every drinking fountain in the building: “I want YOU to tell your crush!” And “Loose Lips Improve Friendships!” The air smelled like lilacs. A) Because duh, it was May. B) Because the windows were always open, and C) Because Charlie* had cut a bunch of lilacs and put them in mason jars all over the office. There was a whole lot of biking to lunch picnics together, and Alex was always bringing in lattes in the morning with perfect heart latte-art on top. People hung cute handmade banners over each other’s desks “just because,” and others swapped favorite books about all of the wonder in the world, “in preparation for the holiday, to get you in the spirit.” After a while, it got hard to tell where awesome workplace culture stopped, and where everyone having crushes on everyone else began. But on May 6th, it all exploded.

We were all at the office late, overseeing the crush telling encouragement blasts that were going out over networks worldwide, and answering last minute desperate pleas from celebrities we won’t name whose names rhyme with Smorge Schmooney asking advice on where they could hide for the next two weeks, and other people who just wanted to know HOW on earth you do this? We had put together the first ITYCD guide. We were exhausted. We were giddy. We were like kids on on December 24th, waiting for Father Crushmas to come deliver what we’d been hoping for for weeks, for months. Then someone got confused. It was 10:55 pm, and she had just sent an email to a crusher in the next timezone over. They were stressing out about Crush Day being a mere minutes away. But here, we had a whole extra hour! She forgot where she was. She threw a paper airplane with a poem folded inside, across the room. It hit the right person, in the wrong place. Sophia’s eye turned out to be ok, but one thing lead to the next, and no one wanted to be left out. More airplanes were launched, the paths of which looked like the map in that video of the End of The World when the nukes start flying. Winks that meant more was coming later were flashed over cubicle partitions.

Someone put a Madonna record on. This sentence about the fact that a dance party ensued is completely unnecessary since you just read the previous sentence. At 12:01, a messenger knocked on the door bearing a mixtape for Sahar. Mark had to leave to take care of something. At 12:30, two of the people from the cubicles next to ours, who worked for Green Environmental Business Solutions for the Planet  popped out of the elevator. They had driven by and saw that the lights were on, and when they remembered what day it was, (no one in our building can forget what May 7th is if they have been around for ANY part of April.) they thought they’d come join in the festivities. Sahar put her mixtape in the boom box. Someone called that cute guy from down the hall who’s always microwaving really yummy smelling homemade soups in the break room, and he brought his buddies from whatever their internet web technology company is with the swirl logo that’s on all the paper we use upside-down that we get out of their recycling bin.

When both sides of the tape stopped, we played that game (on the backs of more swirl logo paper) where you write a sentence and then pass it to the next person who has to draw a picture, for about three hours straight, and it was epic. Melissa lives just around the block, so she and Diondre went home and got a bunch of pillows and blankets and brought them over in two bike trailers, and we rearranged the desks and cubicle dividers and made a huge fort, and though a few people left in pairs (and some in groups of three) when no one was looking, the rest of us had a huge sleepover, right here in the office.

And when we woke up, the sun was shining and it was STILL International Tell Your Crush Day! People left to climb trees and make long-distance phone-calls and visit the lake and check their mailbox and get a sandwich to-go from that cafe on Central so that they could slip a note to their favorite server in the tip jar. But most people eventually came back. I mean, we had to tell each other how it went. Some people came back with sheepish grins on their faces, and Alex came in with the heart-latte-barista on her elbow, to prove us all wrong who thought she wouldn’t do it. “So, this is where I work… I uh, yeah. I left that important thing in my desk drawer I think.” But in various incarnations, that sleepover lasted for 8 days. We worked from inside the fort, troubleshooting people’s “Someone gave me a hamster for ITYCD. What am I supposed to do now?” woes laying on our bellies, propped up on our elbows. Our friends from Planetary Green Earth Business Solutions Environmental, Inc, would sneak in to listen to chapters that Yusef read aloud from Roald Dahl’s The BFG during our story breaks.

And then finally, we realized that you can’t keep living like this. Pizza and chocolate and french bread and cheese and really good apples and avocados just can’t be what you eat all the time. And you can’t keep sleeping at your office, even if your office is World Crush-Telling Headquarters. Even if your bed is a sheet-fort that looks like a pirate ship, and you’re surrounded by really cute people who told you they like you. No, you can’t keep living like that. No, you should add bacon to your menu! (And vegan bacon for some people.) And there should be time for bonfires and more bike rides, too! And instead of pretending you’re on a pirate ship, you should build one! And sail down the Mississippi, meeting people and spreading the Crush Gospel!

And so, my friends, the rest is history. But pirate ship missions across the country can only turn into so many more adventures, before the magic runs out. No, that’s a lie. The magic never runs out. But sometimes, darnit, you’ve started an International Association, and these things don’t just run themselves, you know. You check the mail, and you realize that eventually, someone has to come home and manage the office.  And that’s us. Your loyal defenders of the Crush Movement, ready to take the helm again.

It’s good to be back.
*Some names have been changed to protect privacy

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ITYCD – What the heck is this all about?

Maybe you found this site after someone told you they had a crush on you. Maybe you thought of the same holiday and we beat you to registering this username. Perhaps you’ve been a fan all along and have always wanted more propaganda to peruse while at work. This year, the International Society for the Appreciation of Crushes (ISAC) is putting together a small electronic guide to the holiday, including survival tips, FAQ and eventually even stories of the successes and, er, un-successes of the day.

So without further ado, here are a few frequently asked questions:

What? What’s the point of all of this?

Crushes! ITCYD was hatched out of a simple and honest desire to see more people be open and honest about the world around them. Specifically, the people part of that world. Everyone, even curmudgeons who will claim otherwise, get crushes on people. And, yes, everyone gets crushed on at different times. Wouldn’t it be rad to be able to tell people you had sparklies for that you had sparklies for them? Wouldn’t it be super-amazing if people would do the same for you?

….for those of you keeping score at home, the correct answer is “YES!”

How am I supposed to tell my crush?

The International Society for the Appreciation of Crushes recommends, whenever possible, to tell your crush in person. Face-to-face time takes a lot of the guess work out of ambiguous text messages, facebook messages or hard-to-read flying marquees. That said, sometimes your crush just isn’t in your part of the world. Maybe they’re in Denver and you’re in Detroit. Maybe you just moved to Oaxaca and your crush is back home in Omaha. Perhaps you just finished your schooling in Wales, but your crush is swimming with Whales off the coast of Hawai’i. In this case – anything goes! You know best how you like to communicate and how you like to be communicated with, so we leave it in your hands!

No, I mean HOW am I supposed to tell my crush?

Oh. Starting with “Hey, have you heard about International Tell Your Crush Day?” is a time-honored suggestion. That way, you can explain the holiday and the significance or lack of significance of what you’re about to reveal. Then, you can walk away, content with the knowledge that you’ve won a crush medal of valor for your day’s work. Remember that the mantra for ITYCD is “take a deep breath.” Find your crush, take a deep breath and say “howdy;” write the message, take a deep breath and click send; or pick up the phone, take a deep breath and dial the numbers.

This is terrifying!

Isn’t it? It’s amazing how being honest about things can be scary! Take a deep breath and be confident in knowing that you’re sharing your crushes along with crush devotees around the world. Once you’ve spilled the beans, you’ll feel better about yourself, about your ability to reach out there, and you’ll have done something Very Important.

Saying “I have a Crush on you” is the same as “I’d like to date you,” right?

NO! Well, sometimes. But for the purposes of ITYCD, a crush is simply a spontaneous (or premeditated, we’re not picky) acknowledgement of the beauty all around us. The point is in the journey, not the destination. Maybe you’ve got a crush on someone you’ll never see again, or maybe your crush will develop into a life-long relationship. Even with the latest in crush science, it’s still very difficult to predict how these things will develop. The best thing you can do to prepare yourself is to jump into ITYCD with an open mind, and expect nothing more than to have made your crush’s day.

Why would I do this in the first place?

One: Everyone else is doing it. ITYCD is a grassroots-kinda holiday. It would not exist without crushers just like you spreading the crush word. Extinction is a bummer, so don’t let it happen!

Two: To get a letter, write a letter. Seriously – it’s an unproven fact that people who crush more in turn get crushed on more. It’s complicated and involves imaginary numbers, but the science is out there.

Three: Because you never know what will happen next. In the past, ITYCD enthusiasts have been rewarded with everything from long-term romantic relationships, to new and lasting friendships, to surprise punches in the nose. Everyone likes surprises, right? It’s like a jack in the box, but each time the Jack is something different.

I don’t really have any crushes.

Really? Sometimes it’s hard to spot them, if you haven’t been thinking about them for a while. Don’t force a crush just to be able to tell someone you have a crush on them, but we bet if you think about it a bit more, you’ll remember that cute barista who works downtown, or that bike mechanic who fixed up your ride for you.

I’ve got a million crushes – what do I do?

You’re a very advanced crusher if you’ve got crushes on multiple people. Since crushes don’t have to be promises of commitment, you can tell as many people as you like about your sparklies. Remember that people who crush more get crushed on more.

The ITYCD record is as-yet not established, but drop us a line at getyourcrushon@gmail.com and let us know how many crushes you tell on ITYCD and we’ll give it some thought!

But I’m in a long-term, committed relationship. Crushes aren’t allowed for people like me.

Bollocks. By all means, be sensitive to the needs of your existing relationship, but nearly everyone feels sparklies for someone else from time to time. It’s okay. It doesn’t have to mean that the end is nigh, or that your partner isn’t the person you once thought they were. It means you’re a passionate, creative human being. Set your sparklies free! Wouldn’t you rather share the wealth and help make the world a weensy bit more beautiful, than bottle your crushes up and stifle them into submission?

And heck, maybe you’ve still got a crush on the person you’ve been dating/married/betrothed to for years. It’s been known to happen.

Are there people I shouldn’t tell?

Unfortunately, probably. The basic rule is: be reasonable! Don’t tell someone you’ve got a crush on them if it means risking your job/marriage/Packers tickets/membership in the Rick Astley fan club… unless of course that’s what you want to do. ISAC recommends caution when telling, among others, your boss, your employees, your professors, your students, or anyone who you’ve got some level of administrative power over or subordination to. But since you’re a capable adult, you get to make the call.

ITYCD Survival Tips. Or, what to do when things don’t go quite like you’d hoped.

So I’ve told my crush, now what?

Well, what do you want to happen? For some people, the thrill is in making the crush public. For others, you’ll realize that the crush you thought you had doesn’t seem to be there after the mystery is gone. For others still, you’ve just embarked on a life-long journey with this new person. The possibilities are as numerous as there are combinations of people.

What happens next is up to you and your crush. Maybe nothing happens. Maybe you say, “have a great day,” and disappear into the city. Maybe you go get some falafel together. Making up the next chapter is the best and most exciting part of the aftercrush.

What to do if your crush isn’t reciprocated?

Non-reciprocated crushes are a bummer, but don’t fret! Take another deep breath in and remember why you’re awesome. You remember that, right? Sometimes others can’t see that, or are so focused on another crush that they’ve got some serious tunnel vision happening. It’s okay. You’re in this for the journey, remember?

What to do if someone you’re not crushing on tells you they’ve got a crush on you?

Awkward? Yeah, right! Someone just told you that they think you’re the bees knees! Congratulations! You’re very special, indeed, and isn’t it great that someone’s recognizing it? Maybe they’re not your cup of tea, or maybe you’ve just never thought about until that moment, but in any case, think about how you’d like an unrequited crush to respond to you and do that! Be humble, be grateful, and the next time you’re down in the dumps, remember that someone’s crushin’ on you.

What if no one told me they have a crush on me?

The International Society for the Advancement of the Crush Agenda has determined that this happens with tragic frequency. Don’t panic! Remember to take a deep breath and count your awesomes, because there are LOTS of them. The society has determined the leading causes of crush absences as the following:

  • You’re too cutting edge. You’re so amazing that no one even understands it, yet. Like Pablo Picasso.
  • You’re being elusive. Too often it is the case that would-be crushers can’t find the person they’ve got the sparklies for. Don’t hide! It’s a beautiful day, and you’d rather be out in it, wouldn’t you?

The fine print:

Your crush mileage may vary. Most of the time, the results of revealing a crush are positive or at least neutral. Sometimes bad things can happen, or things you weren’t expecting or hoping for. The nature of crushes a bit chaotic. This is powerful stuff we’re dealing with. If it doesn’t work out, or it works out poorly, remember that you’ve learned more about yourself through the process and that you got good practice in being vocal about what you want in this world.

Have a question? A suggestion? Let us know and leave a comment!

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